I was going to delete the first two posts we made, but they kind of reflect how awkwardly nooby we are. Which is awesome.
I’ll be honest: most of my posts are going to be ramble-y blogs about nothing. But since I actually did something interesting this weekend, or at least relatively interesting, I’ll write about that instead. Yay.
You probably already know this, but I ditched the last day of school to go to San Diego, which of course made me just a little bit sad because I looooove school and especially the last day of school. ‘Cause the last day of school is pretty much the only day we get to sit around and pretend that it really is the romantically ideal place that I like to think that it is. Everyone is all happy and nice to each other and we all feel accomplished because we’re done so we can look back on all the times we were stressed out about that class and laugh.
And you know what else is really bad? I was cleaning out all of my school stuff today and my English notebook fell open to some free writes and I actually couldn’t think of anything that I wanted to do more than be in class having a discussion because we were doing that just like two weeks ago and it was awesome. Maybe you think I’m exaggerating but that is literally one of my favorite things to do ever.
Okay. Sorry. Off topic. San Diego.
I also kind of love road trips. I know that a lot of people hate road trips because it is just so much sitting around, but I love them because it is a kind of perfect excuse to sit around doing nothing, and just space out, which is great. Plus there is something very comfy and safe intimate about spending long periods of time in a small place with people in the middle of nowhere. Is that creepy? Yes. But okay.
Keep in mind that these next photographs were taken over a period of about four hours.
Does that make you glad we don’t live in the middle of nowhere, or what? And this is coming from the girl whose biggest dream is to live on a farm in Texas so she can wear her cowboy boots and ride horses…
When we used to take road trips, we would make mix tapes where everyone in my family would pick like four songs and we would mix them on a CD so that everyone would get to listen to songs that they liked. So of course my brother and I would pick really annoying songs like the Crazy Frog song (Do you know what I’m talking about?) and we would hate the songs that my parents picked. Or maybe we just pretended to hate them, I actually don’t even remember. But the funny thing is that it never fails to make me smile whenever I hear one of those songs that we used to have to sit through while waiting for one of our picks to play. Maybe my parents just had really good taste in music, or maybe hearing those songs reminds me of that anticipation of what would come after those songs. I actually probably payed more attention to those songs that I didn’t like because I was constantly just waiting for them to be over.
Other things I noticed while spacing out in the car: There is no time of day that I love more than dusk. Dusk is pretty even when you’re in the middle of nowhere. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I don’t like hot weather at all, but I love that moment when the sun finally sets after a long day and it’s cool outside and the sky is darkening and it’s not quite dark yet but it’s dark enough for everyone to turn their lights and stuff on and it’s just hellaaaa gorgeous outside. After dusk, I like the early morning and then night and then daytime is like, last on the list. Maybe I’m an owl.
One time I tried to convince the kid I was babysitting that I was an owl, and he was all, “No you’re not, you’re a girl!” So I was like, “What, owls can’t be girls?” Good times.
So I know that it’s a bad thing to try to be someone you’re not, but at the same time, I kind of think that maybe it’s not such a bad thing to try to imitate the idea of a person that you want to become. I was thinking about this because I woke up at like 7:30 on Friday morning to go to the fitness room. Like, why would I do that? Definitely not because I actually wanted to exercise. Maybe because I wanted to eat lots of food that day and I was making up for it beforehand. Or, more likely, maybe I did it because I like the idea of a person who would do that. I don’t really consider myself a romanticist, although sometimes my ideas lean in that direction, but sometimes I get really attached to these things that represent overarching ideas of perfection in my life. I don’t really know what going to the fitness room in the morning represents exactly, but I do know that it makes me feel kind of cool, as lame as that is. It kind of reminds me of how in White Noise, there’s this character who teaches mundane activities like eating and drinking and posture. ‘Cause everyone thinks that if they can get the little things right, maybe they can get the big things right as well. And I’m pretty sure DeLillo is trying to point out that it’s not true, but it feels true and it makes me happy, so maybe it doesn’t even matter if it makes no sense.
So anyway, I was on the UCSD campus, and dude, if you are not excited for college, get excited.
And that’s actually just a random part of campus.
So, yeah. I know it’s only like the second official day of summer but I feel like it has been summer for a super long time already. I don’t even know what this blog is about anymore.